June (merle) Blues

Pretty boy!

June 14, 2016 Tuesday. Today is the first day I brushed Ty’s teeth. I noticed some tartar and a bit of angry-looking gums over his canines yesterday and had to scramble to find the proper tools. He tolerated the procedure well, sitting politely, and slobbering profusely. I’d probably slobber too if someone shoved poultry toothpaste in my mouth.

Striking a pose

He is also starting to sleep in the bedroom again, on his fluffy pink bed. It’s a hit or miss thing, he might stay, he might not. He might come back, he might not. At least he is at the point he can make his own choices, and play around with those choices.

June 22, 2016 Wednesday. Today is 1 year and 3 months since Ty and I met.  Today I see a dog who has evolved  into a beautiful collie inside and outside. He is trusting, gentle, and confident– at least more so from the shut down shell of a dog I first met. He lifts his leg to pee now. He obeys pretty good, considering the tiny bit of real, formal training I gave him. He is still clueless on heel, (though he does it perfectly at the dog park) down (which we just never both with) and almost sits on command. (another hit or miss)  He does them without commands because he knows I want him to do that function.

Consentration.

I’ve said it before, and I believe it still, that I swear he reads my mind. And he wants to please me, because it pleases him in the end. Smart dog.  He still stays in his kitchen ‘cave’  but he weathers thunder and gunshots better. Bad storms in the forecast? We have a shirt for that. He still has yet to bark. I get an occasional whine at the park when he’s nearing that threshold. He whines sometimes during his PTSD dreams, but they are no where as bad as before. He loves car rides, dog park visits and trip to see my friends. The last few trips to the river have been a little stressful so we might curtail those.

At the river

I would love to throw my arms around Ty and give him a huge hug, because that’s how he makes me feel sometimes. However, I know he’d never appreciate that. Tolerate it? Sure. Enjoy it? Nope. I can sit by him, on floor, porch, even the cave, and he welcomes the talking, petting and brushing. But he still has a short span of being handled before he feels uncomfortable.

Cooling off on his cooling pad                                                 Head’s up! Both from June 30th

More than ever, I really wish he could talk to me. I’d just love to hear his thoughts.

 

May Outings, old and new

May 12, 2016 Thursday. I was busy and didn’t get Ty’s walk in until it was already thundering. Storms were moving in and it was a case of now or never. Had he asked me ahead of time, this could have been avoided, but alas…

So we walked. And thunder crashed all around us. He wasn’t too happy about it, but he completed his business and stayed close to me. Once on the porch, I made him wait for 2 to 3 minutes, just listening to the thunder. I brushed him out, laughing and proving we weren’t being chased inside by some silly old thunder. He didn’t share my thoughts and stayed glued to the door, surly hoping and praying it would just open already.

Inside, I fluffed his blankets and doled out the treats, pats and praise. He licked his lips a lot and wore that furred brow, worried look he gets. But at least he lay normal and not curled in a tight ball of trembling fear like he does. However, and this is big– he never bolted once while outside. So that is progress!

Impromtue Thunder shirt…my old t-shirt

May 14, 2016 Saturday. We went to a fundraiser for dogs, called Barq in the Parq. He did pretty good overall. New place, very hot, I got lost getting us there. There were rows of tents, live music wailing loudly, tons of kids, dogs, people and strollers.  He was overwhelmed, which I anticipated. This was to pay a little into a fundraiser and see  how he acted out of his normal environment. To push him some.

Tail tucked, not tight, just down with uncertainly. He sniffed everything, looking like a hairy bloodhound. He pretty much dragged me all over the place. He did wag his tail a few times at other dogs in passing. Kind like a doggie hand wave. He circled me endlessly with his leash. I really regretted not working on his leash training more. Seems I only say that when something unusual happens. Daily rituals, it just doesn’t seem important. Considering the heat and overwhelming sights/ sounds/ smells/ etc.. we left after about 30 minutes, before he hit his threshold limit. I wanted to end this adventure while he was still engaged with it.

May 22, 2016 Sunday. We went to the river today. It was crowded. We finally found a quiet place to stop. He was restless, to the point of being hyper. He even plowed through the water several times. (Inches deep) Normally he detests water and avoids it since his first wild abandon splash in the same river last year. His restless activity made it hard for me to relax and meditate

Bouncing around at the river. He’s got something on his mind. And wanting to share it.

At one point, a man came nearby and Ty placed himself between me and the man. He watched carefully. No aggression, but no friendliness either. He just plainly said he was protecting me. It was a good visit, despite his activity was like having a small child along.

May 24, 2016 Tuesday. A trip over to visit our friends again. Always a nester, (one who digs and paws to make a nest before lying down) he discovered the joys of borrowing the little dog’s beds to nest with. Like an oversized cat trying to fit into a too-small box. He also enjoys borrowing bones and chewies. He won’t touch them at home, but he is using theirs to figure out what to do with them.

If it fits, I sits.

I can’t get over how happy he looks, how animated he gets and how curious he can be when visiting our friends. He runs around like he owns the place. He is a normal, healthy dog. I love it! At home, just him and I, back to the cave. Period. No animation, no curiousity and no acting like he owns the place. Here, his sense of humor shines through. At home, I just passing glimpses of that humor. Ty is just Ty. There is no making since of his riddles.

Pretty Pictures

May 8, 2016, Sunday. Ty sure is a different kind of dog. At home he remains in his cave almost all the time. He has no interest in exploring or interacting. He may or may not join me briefly in the bedroom at night. Briefly. Just a check in. Even bones don’t entice him to stay. He never asks me to go out. Instead, he waits until I go to the door, pick up the keys and think he should go out. As if reading my mind, he comes and sits at the door, waiting for the leash. He does a perfect sit then. In the yard or elsewhere, forget it. Out in the yard, I wait at the gate till he’s done. He makes a few circles around me, till I can snag his leash and we go back inside where he gets a treat. And he still bolts if there are gunshots. And forget going outside if there is thunder. Waste.Of.Time. Inside, he’s cool with gunshots and thunder. Go figure.

He loves car rides to anywhere. His threshold at the dog park is about 20-35 minutes now.He plays with mid-sized dogs and puppies, stopping to check in with me occasionally and going back to play till he’s done.  interestingly, considering his background, I thought he would prefer big, hairy dogs. Nope, he avoids them. Friendly enough, but doesn’t want to be friends.

Sitting pretty. I love how he leans on one hip, legs extended. He reminds me of an oversized puppy.

Peeking in at me. What am I doing in there? he seems to be asking.

At our friends, he’s another dog altogether. He begs (yes, begs!), spinning around like a vagrant. He stays by me but will go investigate on his own. He goes to others for pats and treats, soliciting both shamelessly. He engages in play with the male dog of the three little ones because the two girls don’t like him much.  Still no barking but his nightmares have slackened off somewhat. They don’t seem as bad either.

A Cleansing…and a Chance (& lots of photos)

March 6, 2016 Sunday. Today Ty and I returned to the dog park. He looked so happy to be going, and I know he understands where we’re going. I did snap a picture of him in the car. Of course, I don’t think it truly or fully capture the sparkle and joy of his expression.

Last night, while he was still in the bedroom, before he could decide to leave, I sat on the floor with him, brushing him out and just talking. It had been a year since he left all he knew and entered the rescue, and almost a year since we met. I asked what he thought of the last year. What did he think of his new life since he’d left everything familiar, albeit probably miserable, and travel to NC. Then I laid the brush aside and laid over him and cried into his ruff.

I suppose I was crying for all the animals and children hurt by hoarders. I was crying for my own experience with knowing a hoarder. And I was crying for the preventable loss of Autumn Raine. A few moments later he returned to his cave for the night and I felt a little cleansed.

The consensus of those who see us and know us say he loves me, adores me, whatever term one likes to use. I think he at least likes me, or tolerates me in situations like tonight. Our trust is a fragile, and fickle, thing. Still in the infant stages and so easily fractured.

March 11, 2015, Friday. He had a short vet appointment. It was just a weigh in and check up. He did great. I also took Whymzie the cat for a check up.

Waiting, Whymzie under the bench, Ty being a perfect gentleman. Up to about 68 pounds.

March 12, 2016 Saturday. We made a trip over to see my friends and their three little dogs. It was time for their nail trim so he got his done too since I had all the tools at the ready. My friends were expecting a delivery so I went to move my car to make room, and left Ty inside with my friend. I was gone maybe two minutes. He became distressed while I was gone, pulling on the leash, watching the door where I’d gone through. He only settled down once I returned.

Ty and friends

He is  a complex dog. At the park, he listens so well. In the yard, he’s getting better. Inside, he stays in the cave most the time. Yet, at another house, if he thinks I’m leaving, he wants to be with me. At my friend’s, he is almost a normal dog, more so then I see at home.

March 22, 2016 Tuesday. Our One Year Anniversary of his adoption and this incredible journey.

3/22/16 just crusing around the yard.

3/22/16 back inside after a treat. He is good for basic brushing, but we’ve got to start some serious grooming.

April 2, 2016 Saturday. Back to the dog park for a quick visit. He is getting so much better at coming when I call him. He gets a few pats and then goes off again. He is spending more time checking out the other people there as well.

4/14/16 in ‘the cave’ 4/21/16 beside me at our friend’s again

April 15, 2016 Friday. Ty has completely stopped sleeping with me, instead staying in the kitchen. This week I started bringing him back in, blocking the doorway with the baby gate and just seeing what he does. We’ve done this for three nights, and each night he gets a big chewy bone to occupy his mind and mouth. Now, starting tonight, he went to bed first and waited for his bone. I did not use the gate and he stayed all night on his own accord  This morning, he got up, stretched, and licked my hand. Then went out to the kitchen to wait for his trip outside.

Two undated photos, just April 2016, at one in his cave.

A Major Milestone…and a New Park Threshold

February 19, 2016 Friday. Another major milestone today! I’ve been working hard to coax Ty to come to me while in the fenced yard. I have seen a real desire in his face, but I also see his very real fear. What will happen if he actually does come to me? It has to be tough on him.

I’ve tried sitting, standing, kneeling and all at different spots, looking for something within his comfort zone. So far, I’ve found nothing that makes any difference. Yesterday, I was sitting in the swing and caught his leash as he flew past. Now I had him.

I gently reeled him to me like  a fish on a line. Every few steps I’d let him stop and praised him continuously. He reached me, his tail tucked tight, ears down and shivering. He was so scared. He would not look at me as I petted and praised. Then I let him go. He took off like a streak. I let him make a few fly by’s before I caught his leash and repeated the whole thing again.

That was yesterday. Today, I was kneeling, partway between the swing and the gate and I called for him  Again, he broke into his crazy pacing and eye rolling thing he does so well. Reminds me of a wild horse. I waited, hand out, repeating “Come, Ty.”. He slowly came closer, rushing past and made his circle. Next time he was a little closer and slower. Then past. Next pass-by was a little closer and slower than the last one. Then past.

Finally he stopped long enough for me to touch him on his skull, between the ears. I petted and praised, half afraid to breathe. Contact!

Tail tucked, head down, shivering, peeking at me each time I said his name, his brows puckered with worry. It broke my heart that after being together 11 months, he was still so scared to be touched and so close to me. But I was also glad he was trying to be brave and work past his fears.

We repeated those steps a few more times, each time lasting just a few moments. I started being able to touch him up by his ears. Next time along his ruff. Then his shoulders. After about five minutes of regular contact, I decided he’d done enough. It was time to go inside for a treat. He earned it!

February 20, 2016 Saturday. Dog park trip. He lasted twelve minutes before he hit his threshold. He’s been asleep in the corner of his cave since we returned. He woke long enough to go to the store withe me and eat his dinner. I wonder if yesterday’s breakthrough wore him out and sort of stressed his fine-tuned nerves.

February 28. 2016 Saturday. We went to the dog park again. This time he wanted to stay longer than his normal length of time. He didn’t really play with anyone in particular. He just ran around everywhere, checking out all the dogs and people. His usual threshold is around 12-15 minutes, today’s visit was a record-breaking 40 minutes before he signaled he was ready to leave. I’m pretty happy with that. I’d call it another milestone.

He no longer follows me into the bedroom when I go in for errands like he had been doing. In fact, he barely sleeps in there at night now, preferring-of course-his cave.

That change started a few weeks ago when I had a terrible cough. I sounded rather like a barking walrus most of the night. And angry walrus. After a couple of nights of that noise, he just left the room. Now that the cough is pretty much gone–finally, he still only makes a brief visit in and soon returns to the kitchen for the rest of the night.

A Period of Reflection

January 26, 2016 Tuesday– I was walking Ty and cleaning the melting snow in the yard. The wayward boxer came from the corner of the garage. Seeing me, he back pedaled and came face-to-face with Ty, with only the chain link fence and a few feet between them. My heart stopped because I knew this boxer could leap that fence effortlessly and I feared Ty might.

Ty’s ears went up, tail straight out and his nose working. No aggression, but no warm welcome either. I called Ty and the boxer raced off again. Ty raced in circles, avoiding me, which he is known to do. Only this time he was perplexed, agitated and uncertain. I finally cut him off and gathered up his leash. Yes, after all this time, I still keep his leash on and looped over his back while he is running around the yard. And was I ever glad I do! I got him back inside with no further incidents and made much of him with treats and praise.

Once warmer weather gets here, we are definitely working on his recall. The boxer had acted like he sort of wanted to play, at least there was no growling or bared teeth. However, he is wild and took off as soon as I spoke a word. Last I saw of him, he was racing into traffic again.

A happy face? Jan 28th

February 3, 2016 Wednesday– I’ve wondered lately if Ty is truly happy. Am I doing him a service? It should be obvious, but it isn’t. Part of this doubt is rising from my previous collies, who acted like happy collies. And the pictures I see online show clearly happy collies. It shows in their faces, their smiles, their posture. Everything about them tells everyone they are happy. I look at Ty and I don’t see that. I see a moment or two here and there, but it never seems to last. I see a dog who lives, by  his choice, in a small section of a narrow kitchen.

Also, Ty never asks me for anything. Ever. Not to go outside. Not to be fed. Not to be played with. Not for a treat. Nothing. He just stays in the kitchen–his cave– or in the bedroom, unless I initiate a trip outside or a road trip. He does tend to follow me to bedroom if I’m doing an odd job. He still prefers not to go into the study and won’t enter the den at all. He does peek into the study on occasion.

Out in the yard, Feb 24th

Outside, his tail is up and he seems happy. He cruises the yard, doing his business and deciding when it’s time to come back inside.I just wait by the gate. Yes, he’s obedient–more or less. He listens  for the most part and I’ve certainly seen worse behaved dogs.

If I call him while we’re outside in the fenced yard, he paces in wide circles, ears back and panting. He makes wide loops around me, always staying just a few inches out of reach. It’s not a typical game of keep-away that settled, happy dogs sometimes play. It’s a cross pull. You can see the emotional angst. He would like to come to me, but he just can’t make himself. Not yet. I don’t push him and give him time to figure it out. But is he happy?

His ‘cave’

At the dog park, for ten-twenty minutes he is excited and runs around. His tail wags like a banner as he selects the dogs he wants to play with and he ignores everyone else. Then he hits that emotional overload, shuts down, whines and gets that anxious look on his face and body language. Then he is only happy to follow me to the car where he lays panting on the short ride back home

He’s quiet inside and out. Still not a bark. When I try to hug him, he tolerates it, going still and looking away. He relaxes only once I back off a few feet.  He doesn’t like me in his space, in his face, though he’s never aggressive, just anxious. Worried. Tense.

He’s learning to cruise closer to me in the yard, at least in the last couple of days. I have rewarded him with butt scratches, which he clearly finds pleasurable. He flies by and it’s sort of like touching the wind of a passing airplane.

He still won’t play with toys and chews through any bone I give him like it’s a lollipop. I think I’ve found the magic formula to keep his hot spot under control (yes, we’ve been battling one hot spot for a couple weeks now.) And of course, in try Ty fashion, controlling it is easy enough. Just one antihistamine tablet and a vitamin E dropped in with  his kibble twice a day.

Everything with Ty is easy– and also so hard. He is an enigmatic dog, full of conflict and challenges. I wish he could talk. I’d love to sit down and ask him what he liked and what he wished we could change. Most of all, I want to know– is he really happy here and with me?

New Year, New Challenges, & New Steps

January 1, 2016 Friday. Yeah! Made to New Year’s. Can’t wait to see what lies ahead. Today I brought Ty into the study. He was pretty scared and hated the baby gate blocking him in. Whymzie purred and rubbed around his face, which is actually pretty shocking for her. He ate the last of the Christmas turkey, laid on the bed drooling in fear for a few minutes. I stayed at his side, petting and praising.  Once that gate was lifted, he was out of there. This time he walked out to his cave instead of bolting.  Short exercise, good outcome.

January 2, 2016 Saturday. We had a few fireworks last night, neighbors celebrating no doubt. I was in the study, Ty was in the kitchen of course. When the fireworks sounded, he was up and immediately headed for the bedroom. He soon paced into the study, checked in with me for about 1 or 2 seconds, (long enough to touch  his nose to my hand) and back to the kitchen again.  A few minutes later, we heard more fireworks and he came to the study, sniffed around by the tree and fish tanks and went back to the bedroom.

Later, actually late morning, we headed to the dog park. He had a great time, for about half an hour. That seems to be his personal threshold time. Then he started hanging around me, checking in with me, not venturing so far out.

January 8, 2016 Friday. Standing in the yard, at the corner where he makes his laps, I dragged my hand along his back once as he looped by. He was so startled at first. He came back thought for another pass. Several of them. For each new loop by, he went slower, and turned in a tighter circle, which would bring him back to me sooner. I just ran my hand along his back, letting him go on, not saying much. He clearly enjoyed it, but wasn’t too sure about it yet. I see it as progress. And it gives him something new to think about.

January 10, 2016 Sunday. Close encounter! Coming off the steps from the porch to the fenced yard, I spotted an intact male boxer INSIDE the yard. Ty had not yet noticed him. I muttered something akin to “Oh, sh#t.” and hit the brakes. What was going to happen?

Ty spun in a circle, confused why I suddenly stopped in never-land between two points. Then he sat at my right side, facing the  house and AWAY from the other dog. The boxer took one look at us and scaled the fence, running for the road like a scared rabbit.

I praised Ty and took him to the fence. Keeping hold of his leash, I stayed near, just in case he decided to follow the boxer over the fence and to the road.

Ty…what did he do? He sniffed around, urinated, sniffed some more and looked at me as if to ask, “Something isn’t right. What is it?” Within a few minutes, he was ready to go back inside. There was no sight of the boxer. That could have turned out so much worse.

(January 16th, comfortable in his “cave”. Love the crossed front paws.)

Jan 20th, just cruising the yard.

January 25, 2016 Monday. I had been home for three days between not feeling well and a snowstorm. I’ve noticed Ty is trying to be near me a little more.  If I go in the bedroom for anything–sweeping the floor, putting laundry away, something that is just a minute–he has to follow me there, goes to his bed to wait for me to complete the errand and when I leave, he returns to the kitchen cave once more.

Some shots from Jan 22nd in the snow

Two shots from Jan 23rd.–out in the yard.

He still won’t go to the den or the study. Also he hated being out in the snow. I’d hopes of  him leaping and playing in the fluff. Ah, nope. He stayed out just long enough to take care of business. He is definitely an inside dog. No frolicking collie here. Oh well.

 

 

Rounding out 2015

Christmas day, December 25, 2015 Friday– Ty and I headed to the river. We by-passed our normal haunts and headed for a few new trails. The place was deserted, which suited us just fine. We encountered a small bridge, something new, and Ty bravely crossed over. We came to a larger bridge. He clearly wasn’t a fan, but he crossed that one too.

 

Not a big fan, but at least he’s trying.              Poor boy. He’s not sure about that bridge!

It was a very damp, rainy though warm day. We hiked as many trails as we could.

Hunched body, ears back, he’s cautious. Ears back, tail low, he isn’t sure about this new area.

On the way home we stopped at the dog park. It was just starting to rain but he ran and played with a small lab type of dog for a few minutes. The three big dogs showed up. He chased around with them and then started his previous whining episode. Since it was raining pretty good by then, I just leashed him up and we went home.

A few hours later, once he’d more or less dried out, he got a good brushing and I removed a while bird’s nest worth of twigs, dried grass and dead leaves.

Then, armed with leftover turkey and dressing left over from my Christmas feast, I lured him into the study, feeding and praising constantly. He sank onto the green bed, eating as fast as I could fork over the food. That lasted about one to one and a half minutes. Then , like when he hits his park threshold, he bolted for the kitchen cave. I followed, with praised and a few more bites of turkey.

Hopefully his threshold will be a little longer next time.

December 27, 2015 Sunday– Armed with more turkey and dressing, I coaxed Ty back into the study this evening. Taz was in his cage in the den. Whymzie was settled nearby so I put the baby gate up, to keep him from bolting out. He didn’t like it at first. He paced, bolting a few bites of meat and dressing down like a starving wolf. I just sat on the floor, near the bed I was hoping he’d return to. After about five minutes, he settled down to lay down on the bed, and I kept the goodies and praises coming.

Plus signs that I take with encouragement are he interacted with the fish, sniffing their tanks He explored the room, albeit almost in a state of hysterical. He also checked out Whymzie on her bed, until she swatted at him. But that is Whymzie, she hates everybody who isn’t’ human.

Negatives, he yawned a lot. (Showing his stress), he panted (showing his fear) and his ears were laced back. He did prick them forward for a minute while he sniffed at the fish.   Finally, ten minutes into this new venture, he laid his head on his paws and sighed, resigned to his fate, and clearly not happy. He was out of his comfort zone and it showed.

Each time my chair squeaked, because of the cat, he looked up. Finally I swiveled the chair over and he leaped up, going to the gate, trying to get away from the rolling monster. I followed, petting and praising his bravery, then  I lifted the gate. He tore off to his cave like his tail was on fire.

December 28, 2015 Monday. While I was on the phone in the study and Avery Faith sat curled on my lap, Ty came into the study ON HIS OWN. !!! Each visit lasted only seconds, a minute or two apart. Once he touched my knee. Then he was gone. Unfortunately, I was conducting business and could not dump the cat and interact much with him. I wonder if he was seeking solace because the closet door was open (cat related no doubt) or a follow-up from our stretching his comfort zone yesterday. I’ll probably never know but it sure was nice to see him exploring on his own.

As we close out 2015, I reflect on how far we’ve come as a team and he individually and what the new year will hold for us.

Catching Up

While the calendar reads July, the blog is still stuck back in December. I had started out this with the best of intentions, to chronicle the growth and progress of my dog and our relationship. I’ve been too busy living life daily with Ty, and keeping a hand written journal current, to also come on-line and update his blog. I hang my head in shame. However, I have a few days off work, which equals extra time, so my hope is to get the blog caught up or at least more current in the few days I have available.

December 20, 2015 Sunday Off to the dog park today. Ty had himself a blast!  At first anyway. He ran and played. He even chased a ball ever so briefly, yet was clueless on how to fetch it. But he played and chased!

The park was quite full again. Shorter days, less good time to go, means cramming more visitors into a narrow window. It’s also close to the holidays and I suspect some are either spending time with their dogs now in anticipation of more people time ahead or just plain trying to wear them out before the holidays.

After about half an hour, Ty stopped. He stayed away from the other dogs, no longer interested in playing or balls. He avoided the pack’s “wild gallops”. He avoided everyone, including me. He paced blindly, almost as if lost. And he whined. He whined a lot. He cried, wandering aimlessly. Looking so much like the little kid lost on the playground.  He was searching, but not finding who or what he was looking for. And he bypassed me, ignoring my attempts to call him to me or reach out to him.

Finally, I just headed for the gate, called him to go and he fell into a perfect off-lead heel, as though this was all old hat. I wonder if he was saying “Finally!” to himself. Either way, it ended well.

December 21, 2015 Monday. We had a quick walk outside today, no dog park visits. As soon as we neared the gate, someone popped off their gun. Ty panicked! Oh did he freak out. I rushed him through the date and slammed it shut behind us, since that was the nearer of the two options we had. He paced, wild-eyed and panting, ears back, tail tucked, feral dog for a few minutes, ignoring my calming assurances. It took about 15 minutes, but he finally settled enough to stop and pee. Satisfied, I brought him back inside for a well deserved treat.

December 23, 2015 Wednesday First contact! I have been ill most of the week and was preparing for a procedure for Tuesday and so I went to bed early Monday night. I was just too sick to care about much. Tuesday I had the procedure and came home and almost immediately went to bed. Wednesday morning, the 23rd, I woke up feeling almost human at long last. And Ty was at my side, watching me. I called his name nad stretched out my hand. He licked it twice. Satisfied I was alive, he departed for the cave. But he came to check on me. I wonder how long he’d been sitting there watching. Wish he could tell me.