Winding down July and heading into August and I am slowly catching up.
July 29, 2015 Wednesday. I feel blue today, as though I am somehow failing Ty. Nothing much is changing between us. The new area rugs are down in his paths of travel and already I remember why I don’t like area rugs. They don’t seem to be helping Ty much and the only ones who appear to like them are the cats. Hairy magnets… both the cats and the rugs.
My schedule has not changed much in the last few days, except I was ill over the weekend. That is normal however. Ty and I have not been anywhere lately and I think we both need a good outing together.
Looking back over the previous posts, I see where we hit this holding pattern and stay put. And in the past, it’s eventually followed by a forward step of some proportion. Right now time is our best friend. I am the one who is getting impatient.
But really, what do I expect? For Ty to just skip along those stupid rugs to wherever I happen to be, barking joyfully to join me with the innocent trust of a puppy? Not. Going. To. Happen. Not with Ty. I knew that when I signed on to be his guide through this journey.
Does he sense my periods of disappointment? Does he think I am disappointed in him? Many times it’s just directed at life in general–things even beyond he and I. At least certainly beyond him. I wonder if he is truly happy. I wonder what more can I do. That is the fixer in me. This isn’t right, how do I make it perfect?
Instead, this is a case–all the way around—in which I do the best I can physically and emotionally, enjoy what there is to enjoy and hope for the best in the end. And accept the backward steps and holding patterns as just part of the trip.
I do think a proper outing will do us good, however. And a bit more grooming. And perhaps a couple gentle nudges out of his comfort zone.
July 31, 2015 Friday
Now this is funny. We have just returned from a normal walk and Ty passed some gas. I was sitting nearby, eating lunch and glanced his way at the new sound. He stared first at me, a question on his face. Then he checked out his rear end, fully perplexed. Had this never happened before? I giggled and made silly talk, just tickled to see him react like a normal dog with no recoil or fear.
August 1. 2015 Saturday. A busy day and a huge milestone for Ty. First, a ride in the new car to the vet. I needed cat food but decided it was time to try an inside visit too. Like most vets, mine is crazy busy on any given Saturday so this would be a great test of Ty’s self control and crowd control.
Honestly, I expected either a balk at the door or hit-the-belly-to-the-ground cower. And neither one happened. Yeah! Ty was ‘up’, highly alert and cautious. His panting was increased, some heavy breathing and the ever present at stress times, drool. But he also showed some great self control at the noise.
Other dogs, meowing cats, phone ringing, people coming and going like armies of ants. It was a normal Saturday. We waited our turn. He circled and paced around me a few times, then finally laying down at me feet to wait quietly. I did weigh him in, he did pretty well on the scale. And still weighs the same 63 pounds he weighed in March.
Next we went to our friends with the dogs, to run off a little excess excitement. He looped the yard once with his buddy and spent the rest of the time lying by the patio door– on the inside of course. My friend and I had a pleasant visit. When I went to take a few things out to the car, Ty sprang to life, clearly worried I might be leaving him behind. It seems he is bonding the only way he can–Ty’s way.
August 2, 2015 Sunday. Ty has developed bloody diarrhea this evening. Nasty looking stuff. I suspect it is a combination of Saturday’s exciting visits, being forced into sleeping in my bedroom instead of his cave (part of my gently nudging out of his comfort zone) and it might have also had something to do with the two butcher bones he plowed through last night like candy. I had thought some touch chew bones, thick with sinew and meat would ease his anxiety to being stuck in the bedroom. He sawed through them in mere moments.
8-2-15 Happy back in his ‘cave’ though clearly not feeling well
He seems okay otherwise. I will take him back to the bedroom tonight, skip the bones and see how he is Monday. His belly appears tender, though he still eats his regular food and treats.
August 3, 2015 Monday Still lots of bloody diarrhea today. Off to the store for Kaopectate, brown rice and canned pumpkin. He is asking to go out, so that is good. Last night he got up me two times, messing his bedding once. The second time we made it out in time. He did not bark, whine or nudge me. It was as though a thought passed from his mind to mine. I stirred, sensing his movement and he stood, ready to go and looking earnestly at me.
By the time I got home this evening from work, he seemed better. Still having soft stools, so we’ll stick with the new diet for now. His belly doesn’t seem as tender and his eyes are brighter. Tonight, he can stay in his cave.
8-3-15, feeling a little better and looking a bit brighter. No more butcher bones!
August 4, 2015 Tuesday Still mushy poop but not much blood. Still on the rice/pumpkin and kaopectate diet. He likes it. No apparent belly pain now. We will ride this out and slowly ease into our old habits, like sharing my bedroom. I take heart our communication has taken a step forward in this.